Smalldogarific: A Study of Small Dogs

You ain’t nothing but a small-hound-dog

December 19th, 2006

To all Jack Russell owners, keep an eye on your pup (see the headlines below)! I am calling nana immediately.

Speaking of getting into trouble, the Associated Press reports, “Charges that Natasha Lyonne threatened to sexually abuse a neighbor’s dog are expected to be dropped.” This is totally unprecedented and totally out of control, she must be stopped. Keep an eye on your small dog!

Today’s Headlines:

Walpole family’s dog survives tangle with train: “The Lennon family received an early Christmas gift Friday when its dog, Max, escaped a brush with death on the commuter rail tracks at Walpole Station.”

Couple wants dog killer punished: “Kyle and Kirsten MacArthur want justice for their 5-year-old Jack Russell terrier, whose bloodied body they discovered after a frantic search Friday night.”

Dog Hanged, Killed: “The Jack Russell terrier, named Max, was found hanging in a wooded area. A witness called 911 and told police a young man wearing camouflage rode away from the scene on his bike.”

Boy, 4, would swap gifts for dog: “Four-year-old Jordan Howens says that he would swap all his Christmas presents this year for just one thing, the return of his beloved puppy…He said the timing is particularly bad because the miniature Jack Russell was due to be microchipped this week.”

And, coming Soon to a theater near you:

American Dog: A TV star dog drinks martinis with starlets and showboats on sets until he is suddenly abandoned in his trailer in the Nevada desert where he meets up with a radioactive rabbit and a one-eyed cat who are trying to find new homes.

I want to drink martinis with small dog starlets and showboats!!! In the meantime, a pug-tini will do!